The 12 Year Old Psychic who Changed my Life.
As a child, I did a fair amount of “acting”. As in, I would embody my favorite character for the length of a full movie, in my living room, with all the props and all the costumes. My audience was generally our 75+ lb German Shepherd named Shotzie who was tortured not only because she had to watch this nonsense but at times had to act as supporting character.
The first decade of my life was spent pretending to be:
Sleeping Beauty. I have vivid memories of laying on the couch, in a long frilly dress, tiara on my head and a flower across my heart. My hair was always artfully placed in a cascading fashion over my shoulders and my eyes would be shut gracefully while I patiently waited for Prince Charming to kiss me and save me from a 100 year long slumber! (I still love her and I am still waiting.)
Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I had ruby red slippers, thick socks pulled up over my ankles, pig tails, and a basket for a stuffed animal that would double as Toto. There is a scene in this movie where Dorothy and the Scarecrow are skipping down the Yellow Brick Road. They come upon an apple orchard of grumpy, talking trees. (I can’t believe I’m telling you this.) A food fight ensues. At this point, I’d pause the film, take apples from the fridge, throw them against the wall like Dorothy, and return them bruised to eat later.
Clara from the Nutcracker. My adoration for Clara is still so strong that I make it a point to see the Nutcracker every year. At 38 years old I’m SURE I could dance most of the scenes. (I won’t. Not like I did at the tender age of 5-ish, when I danced the ballet IN ITS ENTIRETY in front of my extended family after Christmas dinner. ((See photo evidence above.)) Much to the chagrin of my cousins who cringe at the memory of it to this day. As do I.)
It was magical. I could be a new fairy princess every day if I wanted to, and I DID want to. But then I got too old. Dressing up as Rapunzel didn’t thrill me anymore, plus it was kind of embarrassing.
The movie Matilda was released in 1996 when I was 12. Matilda was SO cool. She was a girl about my age with magical powers that enabled her to move things with her mind. All she had to do was concentrate really hard on the object she wanted to move and she moved it!! Now this was something I could TOTALLY get down with and it was not embarrassing at all.
Instead of acting, I now spent hours trying to move things. Before falling asleep I would choose a thing in my room. I blocked all thoughts, noise and emotion. Every ounce of trust, determination and focus I had within me was aimed at moving that object of my desire. It took a long time, but I FINALLY OPENED MY DOOR WITH MY MIND!
Just kidding. Definitely didn’t happen, but something better did.Something I wouldn’t realize until I was much older.
It was when I first started playing around with meditation as an “adult” that I recognized the correlation. All that Matilda-stuff was just meditating! And frankly, I was a LOT more focused at 12 than I am now.
Which got me thinking. Why was I so much better at concentrating as a kid? What’s the most discernible difference?
I am so digitally distracted, all of the time. Music, podcasts, photos, Schitt’s Creek. They pull me in a million different directions and get my mind rolling like a tumbleweed, picking up more and more useless debris as it bobs on down the road.
I want and need to focus again, like Matilda.
At the suggestion of my business coach, I decided to experiment. I would turn everything off for a minimum of 12 hours, starting at 4:00pm on a Sunday. A sabbatical of sorts. No apps and no Netflix. Instead, I’d be alone and quiet for a while, just me and my mind. To pass the time, I would do things that I really love doing and oftentimes feel that “I don’t have time to do”. Practice yin, read a book, watch the city from my balcony.
At 4:00pm, I shut my phone and computer down. Silence. My mind started to go a little nuts with all the things I wanted to do. Decisions weren’t coming easy so I reached for my phone. It was off. Put it down. Reach again. Still off. Put it down.
This pattern would continue for an hour, at least. Without technology to deter me, I had to make decisions, sit through a whole minute of boredom, and survive without those addictive dopamine hits that come with a new crop of text messages.
My energy was all whacked out and my mind was racing.
After a while though, my brain kind of ran itself out. It got tired, with nothing there to stimulate it. Life started to slow down. There was no urgency to check my text messages and little to no interest in anyone’s opinion about the latest media headlines. I swam, blissfully, in digital silence and slept better than I had in weeks.
If you:
Have a nonstop chatty mind
Feel anxious or nervous for no reason
Avoid making decisions
Get headaches often
Don’t sleep well
Then try this. Turn it ALL OFF. Try an hour, try 4, try 12, try 24! Tell your family/friends where to reach you if there is an emergency (and define exactly what an emergency is). Give yourself the gift of an intentional, digital detox in silence.
As always, tell me your experience!
With love,
Bethany
