What's the Dumbest Word in the English Language?
I love words. I always have. Language and words and books and conversations and everything you can discern about a person from those conversations. Mysteries and realities and feelings and it’s all just so damn warm and sexy. Words are like those incredible guava pastelitos in Little Havana with flakey crusts that crunch slightly as you bite into them and warmly melt onto your tongue while sparkly, delightful crystals of cane sugar bounce lightly on your taste buds as you chew. They’re full of sweetness and love and they’re DEFINITELY NOT vegan but sometimes you just have to ignore silly semantics. (You want one now, don’t you. Party Cakes on Calle 8, if you’re in Miami.)
Numbers, on the other hand…working on loving those. I’m pretty close. I mean I know I love lots and lots of them in my bank account.
As much as I love words, I didn’t totally discover the power of language until pretty recently. I didn’t realize that, on a conscious or subconscious level, words really do evoke emotion. And now that I’ve discovered it I can’t UNdiscover it and it’s honestly a little bit annoying. Conversation is now more of an obstacle course for me than ever before. I want to actively avoid words that stir up negative emotions and holy moly there are a lot of them!
But this isn’t wholly new to me. I’ve been practicing this tango with language for years! Actually, I have been dancing around one word in particular that has always driven me absolutely bonkers. It’s so pointless and stupid I wish it could be eliminated completely from every language on the planet. I feel good exactly 0% of the times this word slips into my commentary.
Are you ready for the word? Are you on the edge of your seat with anticipation over what this word could possibly be?
And the winner is…
Should.
UGHHHHH. Just typing it makes me feel all sorts of gross. Once or twice in my life I’ve used it and felt so lame afterwards. (Don’t fact check me on that particular statistic. I did mention that I am still getting comfortable with numbers.)
Can you identify ONE TIME the word “should” actually evoked a good, positive feeling? Think long and hard about this. In fact, don’t. Ain’t nobody got time for that. (If you aren’t familiar with this phrase, pause and click here without hesitation. This YouTube clip is truly one of America’s greatest contributions to society.) We can dissect this together and quickly, at that. Let’s look at the variety of instances where one might say “Should” and then list the emotion that it generates.
I should call my Great Aunt Jo.
Uh huh. (Insert eye roll emoji. No this isn’t a note to myself, it’s a suggestion to you, the reader, because I don’t know how to insert emojis into blog posts but I want you to have the full effect with visuals.) But do you really truly want to call your Great Aunt Jo? I already know your answer based on the way you’ve worded this task. So do you, deep down. And guess what. The answer is a resounding NO.
Emotion: GUILT
I should have turned left on 24th Street.
Okay. But you didn’t. So better to use your time figuring out how to get where you’re going than to waste it whining about your past decisions. (Too harsh?) Anyway, consider this: Maybe the ALL-KNOWING Universe was simply protecting you from a very awkward situation set to occur on 24th Street. Like, running into your ex and his new girlfriend exiting the 24th Street Coffee Shop (doesn’t exist, just Googled it) hand-in-hand at the EXACT moment you turned left. WHEW! Dodged a bullet. Be thankful.
Emotion: DOUBT
Should we go to Morocco or Patagonia?
Well, to start, the answer is that you should go to both. (I know. I know.) In the case of “should”, this is perhaps the only time it is pseudo acceptable but I really think “We could go to Morocco or Patagonia! What do YOU think?” It’s so much more upbeat, don’t you? (FYI: Upcoming Escapes)
Emotion: INDECISION
I should have told her how I felt.
Blahhhhhh. You didn’t tell her because you weren’t ready. Something stopped you. Trust your gut and allow yourself grace by rephrasing it. “I could have told her how I felt. Next time, I will.” You’ve just taken ownership of yourself and your actions. Empowering, isn’t it?
Emotion: LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE (Is that an emotion?)
You should go to a therapist.
Unsolicited advice. Nine times out of ten. “Have you considered” or “What if you” are much softer ways to yield advice. (Plus you sound arrogant. Want to know how I know that? Because I DO IT. But I’m more aware, every day. Call me out if you hear me say it. Please.)
Emotion: DISAPPROVAL
Start listening to yourself. When it tries to sneak its way into conversation (and it will), replace “should” with “could”. Try it for one day. Then two days. Then five. Then one week. Then for the rest of your life. Ask someone you talk to often to hold you accountable. I’ll help you! Happy to do it. Because trust me, I (almost) never miss a “should.”
With love,
Bethany
