Why am I swimming against the current?
Sage travel advice:
When in Mexico, do things the Mexican way.
My life is kinda wild right now. In the best way.
Through some connections, I was invited on a business trip to a handful of MAGICAL towns and cities within driving distance of Mexico City. On this trip I accompanied what felt like 200 million meetings and inspected another 200 million authentic properties in order to provide English marketing content.
Dissecting the Mexican way of doing business is honestly (to keep with the theme) a 200 million page research paper that I’M TOTALLY DOWN TO WRITE but that’s not what this love letter is about today.
This love letter is about swimming upstream.
In the most affectionate way possible, Mexicans are rather controlling.
In what ways?
ALL WAYS.
Examples include:
Don’t cross the street yet. (Even if the closest car is 2,000 feet away.)
Eat this. It’s Oaxacan cheese. (I don’t actually eat cheese). It’s okay, this doesn’t count as cheese.
I ordered you another Mezcal already, just one more you’ll be fine. (I’m up to about 4.)
Let me carry your bags, they’re too heavy. (They weigh a total of 5 pounds.)
It’s too far to walk. Armando (our driver) will take you. (It’s 2 blocks.)
You’re going alone? Don’t go alone. We’ll come with you. (I am desperate to be alone for just 10 minutes.)
Through all of this I instinctively fight back. Not in an “independent woman” sort of way, more of a “I’m used to just doing things the way I feel like doing them” way.
This results in a “push-pull” dynamic that can become very tiring.
But that all changed.
On Friday, I went to a fantastic restaurant in Oaxaca with a group of 4 colleagues. Our hotels were scattered in different locations and mine was a mere 9 minute walk across the town square. As mentioned, we had a driver for the trip who was available at all times. While the rest of the group started toward the transfer van after dinner, I bid my farewells.
Everyone stopped.
“Where are you going?” 8 eyeballs, wider than pesos, stared at me, utterly shocked that I would even consider the unthinkable decision to actually walk back to my room.
“Walking to my hotel?”
“No. (FULL STOP.) It’s too late. Armando will take you.” (It was like 11pm and the streets were full of people.)
“No really, I’ll walk, it’s just 9 minutes!” I started to protest.
There it was. The push-pull. Accompanied by a ball of resistance creeping into my tummy. I want to do it this way, and they won’t let me.
Javier, a smiley, jolly, extremely intelligent lawyer who can make anyone laugh, interrupted with his melodic Mexican accent.
“Beth (more like “Bet”, my name is, as usual, an issue to explain here in Mexico) you can do whatever you want when you’re alone. You can walk all over the city. But when you’re with us, do it the Mexican way. I know it’s not far but we don’t want you to walk by yourself at this time of night. Let us take you back.”
So I got in the van.
Here is what I felt:
Relief
Peace
Care
Love
That anxiety that I was carrying with me completely dissipated. Fighting the cultural rules had been stressing me out fully and I didn’t even know it.
This forced me to examine something I’ve been really looking at for the past month. Why was I being so resistant in the first place?
Because of my own stupid self-limitations.
AND I HAVE SO MANY.
I can’t…
Eat anything in the morning unless it’s fruit
Walk less than 10,000 steps each day
Drink coffee today if I had coffee yesterday
Go to bed after midnight
Wake up later than 7:00am
Drink red wine with lunch
On the other hand, I must do everything myself.
Oh my goodness I have SO MANY RULES! And they’re all EXHAUSTING!
Please understand: I love discipline. I don’t love jail. Self-limitations can easily become a prison sentence if you don’t let yourself go once in a while.
So I did!!! I let go! I stopped swimming upstream and decided to flow with the current.
I ate the cheese, I handed over my 5lb bags, I drank the coffee, I walked on the less dangerous side of the sidewalk. I had red wine with lunch and laughed about my 7:00pm hangover. I’m still alive, I’m totally happy, and tomorrow I will get back to my normal life which includes fruit in the morning and as many steps as I can possibly take throughout the day.
And with that I will have beautiful, authentic and unforgettable memories visiting Mexican pueblos the Mexican way.
If you’re building a mental prison, here is a sign to examine your rules. Watch your patterns & listen to the things you say to yourself.
Set yourself free and enjoy the ride.
With love,
Bethany
